Welcome to “Five and unfiltered” where I give you a dose of truth in five minutes or less. I’m L.A. Randle, digital investor, value creator and audio blog developer for content creators who understand the importance of NOT building your business solely on social media platforms. If you want to safegaurd your content, and take back control of your voice check out the The Trenity Method @ thetrenitymethod.com
EPISODE BREAKDOWN– Love is Not the Glue
Love is not the foundation. That was the hardest lesson for me to learn, and if we’re being honest, most of us don’t even want to hear it. We were taught that if we love someone enough, we can make it work. That love is the glue. But glue can’t hold together something that’s not built to stand. Love may feel like the starting point, but if that’s all you have, you don’t have much.
I’ve been in the kind of relationships that looked full from the outside but were empty in the areas that mattered most. We had passion, but no plan. We had a connection, but no consistency. And I kept telling myself, “But I love him.” Like that was enough to cancel out the disappointment, the missed effort, the emotional absence. It took me a long time to understand that being in love doesn’t mean you’re in alignment.
This is where a lot of us get stuck. We confuse intensity with intention. But real intention shows up in how you grow together, how you handle conflict, and how you support each other’s vision. That kind of alignment can’t be faked, and it definitely can’t be built on butterflies. I’m not saying love is meaningless, but I am saying it’s secondary to purpose, direction, and real partnership.
So if you’re sitting in a relationship that’s hurting more than it’s healing, and you’re staying because you love them, ask yourself this: What is love doing for you right now? Because when love is right, it protects, it aligns, it builds. But when it’s not, it blinds. And I don’t want you walking into your future with your eyes closed.
KEY LESSON- Love is Hard
The moment everything shifted for me was when I stopped trying to feel love and started trying to live with the person I was building with. Let me explain. It’s easy to be in love when life is soft. But real life brings pressure. It brings grief, responsibilities, setbacks, bills, ego, insecurity, and unhealed wounds. And that’s where the truth shows up, when you’re forced to function together.
One of the most painful realizations is knowing you love someone, but you’re not compatible when it counts. You may love how they make you laugh, how they touch you, how they show up in certain moments, but when it’s time to solve problems, to sit in silence, to make grown decisions, you two are speaking different languages. That’s not just hard. That’s exhausting.
Related Episodes: This Decision Was the Path That Led Me to My Peace
I’ve been there, loving someone deeply, while slowly losing parts of myself to stay in something I had no business holding on to. That’s not love. That’s survival. And we don’t have to survive our relationships. We should be evolving in them. Love should support your growth, not punish you for having standards. That’s the turning point, when you start loving yourself enough to choose alignment over attachment.
When you finally get tired of trying to force a future with someone who doesn’t have the capacity to grow with you, you’ll realize you deserve a relationship that breathes. That stretches. That expands when you do. Not one that makes you shrink just so you can keep it.
Reflection- You Have to Love Yourself More
If I could go back and talk to the younger version of me, the one who stayed too long and loved too hard, I’d tell her this: Love them, yes. But love yourself more. Because the person who’s truly meant for you won’t make you question if you’re asking for too much just because you’re asking for clarity, consistency, or commitment.
You are not asking for too much when you want someone to show up in the ways they said they would. You’re not being dramatic when you recognize that love without alignment creates confusion. That’s your spirit knowing something’s off. Listen to that. Love should not leave you depleted. If it does, it’s not love, it’s dependency, habit, or fear.
I’ve learned to pay more attention to how someone aligns with my life, my goals, and my peace than how they make me feel in the moment. I’ve stopped choosing people based on potential. I now choose based on patterns. Because how someone moves when things get hard, that’s the real them. Not the version that shows up when everything’s romantic.
You deserve a relationship where love shows up in action, not just emotion. Where the two of you are building something solid, not just surviving off the highs. That’s what I want for you. That’s what I want for all of us.
Self Reflection- Relationships Have Seasons
So now let me ask you something, sis. Are you really in love, or are you trying to make love enough to cover up the parts of your relationship that don’t work? Are you aligned with the person you’re building with, or are you just attached to who they used to be?
This isn’t about walking away just because things are hard. Every relationship has seasons. But some of us are watering dead soil, calling it faith. We’re trying to revive something that never had roots in the first place. And we’re calling that love. But love shouldn’t make you question your worth.
If you feel like you’re the only one trying, or like you have to abandon yourself to keep the peace, I want you to stop and check in with your spirit. What is love costing you right now? And is it worth it?
Because here’s the truth: the right kind of love will never require you to beg for alignment. It will come with intention. It will come with mutual growth. It will come with peace. You won’t have to force it. You won’t have to guess.
Click Play
This episode is short, but it’s a gut check. Press play if you haven’t already, and if it hits something in you, share it with someone who might need to hear it.
