Welcome to “Five and Unfiltered,” where I give you a dose of truth in five minutes or less. I’m L.A. Randle, digital investor, value creator, and audio blog developer for content creators who understand the importance of NOT building your business solely on social media platforms. If you want to safeguard your content and take back control of your voice, check out The Trenity Method @ thetrenitymethod.com
Episode Breakdown– Asking for Help
Asking for help isn’t just hard; for many of us, it feels impossible. Especially when we were raised to believe strength meant silence and survival meant handling it all on our own.
This episode is about that version of you. The one who didn’t speak up. The one who tried to carry everything, pain, pride, pressure, alone. Not because she wanted to be the strong one all the time, but because no one ever showed her what asking for help looked like without the shame attached.
And instead of seeking help, she built walls, burned bridges, and buried the parts of herself that were screaming for support.
This version of you wasn’t broken; she was overwhelmed, silenced, and trying to stay afloat. But let’s be honest, unhealed doesn’t mean harmless. When you don’t know how to ask for help, you start showing your pain in sideways ways. You snap at people who love you. You ghost friends who were just trying to check in.
You shut down when someone asks if you’re okay. And the damage? It’s real. But what’s also real is the fact that those actions came from a version of you who simply didn’t know another way. And that’s what we unpack today, with compassion and truth.
We’re not brushing it under the rug. We’re naming it. The shame. The guilt. The decisions are made in survival mode. We’re talking about how it’s possible to acknowledge your mistakes and forgive yourself, not because you’re avoiding accountability, but because you’re finally strong enough to take it.
In this episode, I’m walking you through what it means to stop holding your past self hostage and instead invite her into the healing journey with you. This is about grace. And grace doesn’t mean pretending. It means choosing honesty with love.
So if you’ve ever felt like you fumbled every chance to get it right because you didn’t know how to speak up, this one’s for you. Because baby, you can’t keep blaming the past version of you for not knowing what the healed version of you just learned. And you sure can’t heal what you’re still hiding. Let’s talk about what it means to finally give her some rest.
Key Lesson– Unlearning Silence
Most of us weren’t taught how to ask for help, we were taught how to endure. And when you live in endurance mode too long, your soul becomes conditioned to believe suffering is just part of your personality. But it’s not.
The key lesson here is that unlearning silence is part of your healing. It doesn’t make you weak to say, “I need help.” It makes you self-aware. Mature. Grounded. When you understand that, you start to look at your past through a different lens, not with excuses, but with understanding.
Forgiveness starts with telling the truth about the role you played when you were still operating in pain. You may have shut people out. You may have acted in ways that don’t align with the woman you are now. But the lesson is: your healing doesn’t erase the harm, it redeems it. You can still be responsible and compassionate toward yourself. One doesn’t cancel the other out. In fact, they go hand in hand. You’re not off the hook, you’re just no longer on the cross.
Related Episode: Why Does guilt & Regret Linger even After I’ve Changed?
Learning to ask for help today doesn’t mean you forget what that older version of you did. It means you honor her by evolving. By finally giving her the support she didn’t know how to request. You became the safe space she needed. And that, right there, is how generational patterns shift. Not with blame. With truth-telling. With care. With ownership. That’s the lesson that frees you.
The biggest takeaway? You are not your unhealed actions. But you are responsible for healing the impact they had on others, and on yourself. So stop running from the past version of you. She’s waiting for a conversation. Not a condemnation.
Reflection– Consider Vulnerability
Let’s reflect on something uncomfortable. How many times did you want someone to notice you were struggling, but when they asked, you said, “I’m fine”? That was the old you protecting herself. Because sometimes asking for help feels more vulnerable than just pretending to be okay. But the cost of that silence is high. Relationships suffer. Self-esteem suffers. Your peace suffers. And you begin to live in a constant cycle of needing support but not knowing how to reach for it.
Now take a second to think about how you showed up in those moments. Not from shame, but from awareness. Did you lash out? Did you isolate? Did you become someone you barely recognized, all because you were drowning but didn’t want to appear weak? That version of you needs compassion, not condemnation. She was carrying what no one saw. She was fighting invisible battles. She didn’t need to be judged. She needed to be held.
The version of you that didn’t ask for help was still worthy of love. She was still trying. Still pushing. Still making a way out of no way. Reflect on that. Let it land. Because if you’re still punishing her, you’re blocking the healing meant for your current self. The woman you are today doesn’t have to keep dragging yesterday’s guilt into tomorrow’s growth. That’s not healing, that’s punishment. And we’re not doing that anymore.
Reflection is what gives your healing context. It’s the mirror that shows you where you’ve been, so you don’t forget why you started. So look back, not to stay there, but to honor the version of you who kept going anyway. Even when she didn’t know how to say, “I can’t do this alone.”
Self-Reflection– Forgive Yourself
Ask yourself this- have you truly forgiven the version of you who didn’t know how to ask for help, or are you still holding her to an impossible standard? Self-reflection ain’t always pretty, but it is necessary. You cannot move forward if you’re still secretly resenting who you used to be. Write that letter. Not the polite one, the real one. Say what you need to say to her. Then release her from your grip.
Have you created space for the new you to show up fully, or are you still living in the echo of old guilt? Forgiveness is freedom, but you’ve got to claim it. Not just intellectually, but emotionally. Spiritually. Energetically. You’ve got to tell yourself, “I don’t live there anymore. I live here. And here is where I give myself grace.”
Also, ask yourself: What does asking for help now look like for you? What support systems are in place? What would happen if you stopped trying to prove your strength and started building your circle instead? You don’t have to be everything to everyone. But you do have to start being something to yourself, honest.
Finally, remind yourself daily: the version of you that didn’t know better still deserves love. And the version of you that knows better now? She deserves a soft place to land, too. Be both. Forgive both. Love both. That’s how you lead yourself forward.
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