Welcome to “Five and Unfiltered,” where I give you a dose of truth in five minutes or less. I’m L.A. Randle, digital investor, value creator, and audio blog developer for content creators who understand the importance of NOT building your business solely on social media platforms. If you want to safeguard your content and take back control of your voice, check out The Trenity Method @ thetrenitymethod.com
Episode Breakdown– Tear Down the Walls
Learning to love yourself sounds beautiful on the surface, but truth be told, it requires a level of honesty that most people aren’t ready for. It’s not about surface-level self-care or putting on a confident face in public. It’s about tearing down the walls you built just to survive. It’s about unraveling everything that made you feel like you weren’t enough in the first place. That part? That’s where the real work begins.
You know you don’t love yourself when you keep letting people play with your peace. When you ignore your intuition because speaking up might shake the room. When you perform strength, but deep down, you’re exhausted. I know what it feels like to shrink, to silence myself, to show up for everyone but me. And I called it love. But it wasn’t. It was fear. And fear will have you mistaking survival for self-worth.
Another sign? The way you talk to yourself. You beat yourself up for your past. You replay your mistakes like a loop you can’t shut off. You give everyone around you the grace you’re starving for, but when it comes to you, you’re your own worst enemy. That’s not accountability. That’s emotional self-sabotage. And it keeps you stuck in cycles that confirm your pain.
This episode isn’t here to shame you. It’s here to shine a light. To help you see the disconnect between how you show up for others and how you show up for yourself. If you’ve been wondering why peace feels out of reach, maybe it’s time to ask if you’ve truly made yourself a priority. Not a project. A priority.
Key Lesson– Strip it Away
One of the most important lessons I learned is that loving yourself starts with truth. And the truth is uncomfortable. You can’t start healing if you’re still pretending you’re okay. You can’t rebuild your life on top of denial. You’ve got to strip it all down and sit with the mess. That’s not weakness. That’s the beginning of freedom.
Loving yourself doesn’t mean you never made mistakes. It means you’re ready to stop punishing yourself for them. It means you’re willing to see the past for what it was and take responsibility without letting it define you. It means you stop waiting for someone else to rescue you from the version of yourself you no longer want to be.
Related Episode: Why Mind Wellness is So Important
It also means setting boundaries with yourself. Not just with other people. Sometimes you need to protect yourself from your self-destructive habits, your people-pleasing ways, and your constant need for outside validation. You’ve got to become a safe place for yourself before expecting anyone else to offer you peace.
Self-love is not passive. It’s intentional. And it starts when you stop pretending and start healing. When you decide that you matter, not just in what you give, but in who you are, without giving anything.
Reflection– Distraction isn’t Peace
When was the last time you chose yourself, fully and without guilt? When did you stop to check in on how you feel, not just how you’re functioning? A lot of us confuse being busy with being healed. But distraction is not peace. Productivity is not self-worth. And if you never stop, you’ll never feel.
Healing requires stillness. It requires you to confront the parts of you you’ve been avoiding. You have to face the girl inside you who still feels unheard, unseen, unprotected. You’ve got to let her know you’re listening now. That you’ve got her. That she’s safe to rest. That it’s okay to stop fighting.
Your healing won’t look like anyone else’s. Some days you’ll feel powerful. Other days, broken. But both are part of the process. Real love says, “Even when you’re a mess, you’re still worth showing up for.” You’re not here to be perfect. You’re here to be whole.
And wholeness comes when you make peace with all of you. Not just the polished parts, but the broken ones too. The ones you’ve been hiding, avoiding, and running from. They need your love the most.
Self-Reflection– Stop Suffering in Silence
What would change if you started learning to love yourself today? Not tomorrow. Not after the next relationship. Not once you “get it all together.” But today. What would your life look like if you treated yourself with the same compassion you offer everyone else?
Start by listening to the way you speak to yourself. Catch those quiet insults you drop in your head. Replace them with truth, not fluff. Tell yourself what you needed to hear back then. Say, “I’m proud of you,” even if you feel like a mess. Speak life over your name.
Next, look at what you’re tolerating. Anything that drains your spirit has to go. That includes your self-doubt. That includes patterns you’ve outgrown. That includes people who benefit from your silence. You’re not here to keep suffering in silence. You’re here to thrive out loud.
If nobody else told you, here’s the truth. You’re worthy of love, and it has to start with you. Not just in words, but in how you show up for yourself when nobody’s watching. That’s what learning to love yourself looks like. And it’s time.
