For years, I didn’t realize how much of my own suffering was tied to the patterns I was unwilling to break. It wasn’t that I wanted to be miserable, but I kept holding onto habits that drained me; mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
I thought I was just doing what needed to be done, but in reality, I was keeping myself stuck. Breaking free from unhealthy habits wasn’t about discipline alone, it was about shifting my mindset, my priorities, and most importantly, my self-worth.
The Unhealthy Habits That Kept Me Stuck
Overcommitting to things that drained me – I said yes to too many things out of guilt, leaving myself exhausted and resentful.
Seeking validation from the wrong people – I kept trying to prove my worth to those who never saw it in the first place.
Avoiding boundaries because I didn’t want conflict – I let people overstep because I was too afraid of disappointing them.
Holding onto toxic relationships – I made excuses for people who continually hurt me because I was scared to be alone.
Ignoring my body’s need for rest – I convinced myself that burnout was a sign of productivity instead of self-neglect.
Dismissing my emotions as being ‘too sensitive’ – Instead of honoring how I felt, I buried my feelings and pretended they didn’t exist.
Letting fear dictate my decisions – I stayed in situations that no longer served me because I was afraid of the unknown.
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Comparing my journey to others – I wasted time measuring my success against someone else’s timeline.
Overthinking and second-guessing everything – I talked myself out of opportunities that could have changed my life.
Keeping myself busy to avoid facing my emotions – I filled my days with distractions so I wouldn’t have to sit with myself.
Holding onto past mistakes – I carried shame for things I should have forgiven myself for a long time ago.
Not allowing myself to experience joy fully – I always waited for the ‘other shoe to drop’ instead of embracing happiness in the moment.
Making excuses instead of making changes – I justified staying in situations that weren’t serving me because change felt hard.
Silencing my own needs to keep others comfortable, I prioritized their happiness over my own until I barely recognized myself.
Forgetting that I am worthy just as I am, I spent too much time trying to earn love instead of realizing I was enough already.
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How to Break Unhealthy Habits
The hardest part of breaking unhealthy habits is admitting that they exist. If you’re holding onto patterns that are keeping you stuck, here’s how to start shifting:
- Identify the root cause – Every habit starts somewhere. Ask yourself why you keep doing something that hurts you.
- Practice self-awareness – Pay attention to your triggers. What situations cause you to fall back into old patterns?
- Start small – You don’t have to change everything overnight. Focus on one habit at a time and build from there.
- Replace the habit with something better – Instead of focusing on what you’re giving up, focus on what you’re gaining.
- Be patient with yourself – Growth is not linear. There will be setbacks, but they don’t erase the progress you’ve made.
- Surround yourself with the right people – Distance yourself from those who encourage unhealthy behaviors and get around those who support your growth.
- Hold yourself accountable – Acknowledge when you slip into old habits, but don’t beat yourself up over it. Just keep moving forward.
Further Reading: 20 Things I Let Go and Let God Handle
Final Thoughts
The truth is, unhealthy habits don’t just keep you stuck—they keep you from the life you deserve. I had to learn the hard way that my habits weren’t just affecting my happiness; they were shaping my entire reality. Once I became intentional about letting go of what no longer served me, I started to feel lighter, freer, and more aligned with who I was meant to be.
If you’re struggling with patterns that no longer serve you, I promise, you are strong enough to break them. And when you do, you’ll finally understand what it feels like to truly live.
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